Meditating Moments

It’s in my meditating moments, that I feel peace, comfort, healing, and joy. A wonderful way of a mini mental vacation to pause for a minute. I often find myself meditating any and everywhere. Often it’s in the bathroom, on the subway, at work, etc. Even with people surrounding me and talking among me, it’s still a nice feeling being able to get away mentally and feeling alone but in a good way.

It’s in my meditating moments, when I can talk to you and the best part is I don’t have to get too expressive because you hear and know my internal thoughts. It’s in my meditating moments when I think of the good and bad going on in my life. Of course, there’s some agreements and disagreements but I remember to go with the flow.

It’s in my meditating moments, when I feel mixed emotions. Again, I can be happy and crying tears of joy because I can’t believe where I stand in life. Then another time, my attitude can flip, and I’m complaining, frustrated and tired of life (I’m just being real).

It’s in my meditating moments, no matter my emotions and current status, that my music keeps me sane. Whether its gospel or secular, the lyrics give me life to sustain that I can make it.

It’s in my meditating moments, I feel weak but strong. All my decisions seem to be going right but somehow I still feel wrong. It’s in my meditating moments, when I look to the sky saying, “Father, can you hear me? Yes, hush, watch and you will see”.

It’s in my meditating moments that you are everything to me….

-my air

-my strength

-my peace

-my comfort

-my love

I could go on and on but my words are indescribable.

It’s in my meditating moments that I see flaws, so quick to throw up my walls.

But you will perfect me for your glory

Because after all I have to share my story

It’s in my meditating moments where nothing seems to make sense

Even my language is tense

And while others are looking for fame

They misunderstand the power of your name

It’s in my meditating moments where I can only be me

I strive to be a better person everyday

Keep working on me and make a way

It’s moments like these that’s taught me how to pray

It’s in my meditating moments

I will obey

 

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“To Please or Not to Please”

For as far as I can remember, I always had a mentality that I had to please people. I had to be on the honor roll not only because my mother was an educator but also because I didn’t want her mad at me or didn’t want her to whip me. The need of feeling I was going to have to attend a certain college/university because my aunts and cousins pledged in sororities and I sometimes felt they expected me to do the same, especially an AKA. (didn’t happen). The moment of sometimes feeling pressured of moving back home to Florida which was and still is a desire of mine but in my and God’s timing. I placed people’s feelings before my own. I remember my grandma telling me, “you can’t please everybody, learn how to please God and yourself”. It was awhile before I finally applied it. To be honest, I’m still not completely there.  I still try to please people to a certain extent but it depends on the situation and the person. Now I’m learning, if I have tried my best and know that I have done all that I can and you’re still mad, then it’s a personal problem on your end. I had to get to a point that I was going to make Danielle happy.

I was criticized for my school’s choice, the location of it, and my major just to name a few. I can recall so vividly, “why do you want to go there? Why did you switch your major to that? What kind of jobs will you be able to get? Now reminiscing back years later, I’m thankful that I pleased myself. I always tell people that my testimony in the short version is BUT GOD.

I’ll share bigger portions of my testimony at a later date or as I feel led to. I want to leave you with this encouraging note. Do not get dismayed when others get mad at you whether it’s family, friends, co-workers, etc. Put your feelings first because in the end, your happiness is what’s important.

Proverbs 16:7 (English Standard Version), “When a man’s ways please the LORD, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him”. So stay encouraged that no matter who appears against you and your decisions, the Lord will give you peace. I want you to focus on YOU because you matter. Is your happiness worth to please or not to please?

Born for a Purpose

I originally wrote this on 5-1-2012 and recently came across it. Of course I had completely forgot about it and started reading it and was quite impressed. Not to beep my own horn but if I don’t encourage myself who else will? This post is pretty lengthy so buckle up and let’s answer why you were born for a purpose.

Why you were born for a purpose?

You were born for a purpose. There was no mistake when you were formed. Another sperm could have joined itself to another egg, but it did not. All the days of your lifer have already been written. You were intricately made, not one detail of you was a mistake. Everything about you was made EXACTLY how God intended, because YOU were born for a purpose!

“For You did form my inward parts; you did knit me together in my mother’s womb. I will confess and praise You for You are fearful and wonderful and for the awful wonder of my birth! Wonderful are Your works, and that my inner self knows right well. My frame was not hidden from You when I was being formed in secret [and] intricately and curiously wrought [as if embroidered with various colors] in the depths of the earth [a region of darkness and mystery]. Your eyes saw my unformed substance, and in Your book all the days [of my life] were written before ever they took shape, when as yet there was none of them” (Psalm 139:13-16, Amplified Version).

God designed you especially, so you could fulfill a specific purpose. God placed you in the family in which you were born for a specific reason. You encountered that unfortunate circumstance in your life for a reason. Every day of your life was written before you were formed, nothing happened to you by chance. YOU were born for a purpose!

Let us look at the life of Joseph (Genesis 37-48). In your spare time, you will have to read this because it is very lengthy. I will look at it briefly now:

The wife that Jacob loved, Rachel could not have a child. After Jacob had many sons with his first wife, and her heart was broken time and time again, God gave Rachel a son in Jacob’s old age. Jacob understandably loved his son, Joseph, above all. This caused Joseph’s brothers to hate him and sole him into child slavery. Joseph went through many hard times in Egypt but was eventually promoted and became the highest ruler in Egypt.

He through this elevated position, could bring his family and the people of God to Egypt and saved their lives when a sore famine came upon the earth. This was a brief synopsis and there are many details that were not covered, but I wanted you to see how God intricately planned Joseph’s life. If Joseph was not born to the beloved wife of Jacob after so many years of grief, he would not have been so loved by his father. If his father never treated him special above, his brothers would not have hated him.

If they did not hate him, he would not have been sold into slavery. If he was not sold into slavery, then the purpose that God had for his life, to save his family and nation, would never have been fulfilled. Everyday of your life is planned. YOU were born for a purpose!

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations” (Jeremiah 1;5, Amplified Version). God told Jeremiah that he was set apart and appointed a prophet to the nations before he was even formed in the womb. This is true of all of us, a bit scary, profound and comforting all in one.

How your purpose is identified?

God knew WHO he wanted you to be before He formed you, so while He was forming you, He was designing you specifically for that purpose. Before, he designed your mother, He planned for her to give birth to you. You were not a mistake, where you were born was not a mistake, where you are now is not a mistake. You need to know this and ask God for what purpose you were born, why are you in a particular circumstance, why were you designed the way you are and where will he place you? God what is my purpose?

One way in which your purpose can be identified is through your gifts. The Bible speaks about talents given. God designed you with a love for something (s) and you do not have that love in your heart without a reason. So firstly, you must ask what do you love doing? Then when you have found the answer, ask God why did you give me this gift and what is it that you want me to do with it? (As for me, as mentioned earlier one of my gifts and passions is to write. My motive is simply to share my story along with bringing encouragement and hope). When you find your purpose, it gives meaning to your life. You have a mission, so the obstacles become less difficult to deal with.

There is something driving you to go on, there is something that makes you want more, that make you find it a joy to wake up in the morning. Something that makes you push to the limit, that something is purpose.

Your Purpose is Not to Benefit You Only:

God made each of us to help the other. You must fit in the cycle of life. Life forms were designed to give sustenance to each other. The trees breathe out oxygen and we take it in, we breathe carbon dioxide, they take it in. Life forms cannot exist without each other. It is so designed by God. Neither can humans exist without each other. You were designed to build up and help someone else. Your purpose is to build you up but it not for you alone.

The Bible says; “a man’s gift maketh room for him, and bringeth him before great men” (Proverbs 18:16, King James Version). So your gift(s) will make room for you. Your purpose is usually tied to your gift(s) or ability. However, when you have discovered your purpose you will find that others  have to get involved, it must be with a view to help others or there will be no real joy.

What is your gift and how can you use it to help someone else?

This question is buried in your purpose and you must unearth it. Why do you live, why were you born? It cannot be to “just exist” until you die. If you do not find your purpose, you exist. You have not begun to live. Whatever gives you joy, you must find it within and begin to live it. YOU were born for a purpose!!!